Jill added me as a friend on Facebook today. It's something I've wanted but I knew it would be a while and I knew I could't ask her. I would just have to give her time. We've been talking more and I think she's been down the last few days and maybe she's seeing that I can be her friend. While that is good I'm worried about her. We talked yesterday and she seemed somewhat despondent. She's taken a lot of punishment the last few years both physically and emotionally and it's wearing on her. She's a great person who doesn't deserve the trials she's faced. While her leaving hurt me more than she will ever realize she deserves to be happy. I wasn't expecting that being her friend would be so hard. I'm just as worried and concerned about her as when we were together but I have so many less options for helping her. Before I could just hold her hand but now all I can do is type words onto a screen and words are not my thing. (you might have figured that out by now)
On brighter news she has agreed to have dinner with me for my birthday. This will be the first time we've been face to face since the divorce. I hope I don't lose it and start sobbing right there in the restaurant. Ah who am I kidding? I just hope I don't sob too much. Its going to be tough for both of us emotionally but I think it will help us deal with things and breakdown some of the barriers between us. I'm frightened and excited at the same time. I just want to hold her hand and hear her voice again. I may be forced to give up on her as a love but I will never give up on her as a friend.
No comments:
Post a Comment